February 2020

Hi buddies,

It’s my birthday month! And it’s the dead of winter. Like a lot of folks, I tend to get sad in the winter time. And I get sad around birthdays. This is NOT a cry for help. Merely an observation. So I’ve been allowing myself to feel a little blue but also think about all the bright spots in my life. I have a lot, in no particular order:

Loser Boy: people always said it’s hard to make friends as an adult, so I feel really lucky to have found a group of people who not only HARD YES weird stuff I pitch onstage, but also HARD YES my weirdness in real life. They are fantastic performers and people, and I’m surprised and delighted I found them last year.

Muddy Paws Rescue: I’m volunteering with MPR, a 501c3 nonprofit organization working to save the lives of thousands of dogs in need through foster-based care, advocacy, and community outreach. I’m an adoptions counselor for them and I get to play with pups and match them with people looking to adopt. It’s a great feeling. Come volunteer/foster/adopt :-)

Therapy: I’ve been in therapy for almost a year and a half and it’s literally the best thing. I’m very lucky I’ve been able to afford it/have an insurance that pays for it. I know not everyone has that opportunity.

Lots of supportive friends and family: I had a ton of people reach out for my birthday, and I feel very supported and loved. My family always gives me really great advice and are a phone call away. When I get overwhelmed, they’re there for me. I mean, they’re there for me when I’m not overwhelmed too. I can always count on them.

Plant babies: I have many plant babies in my home. They are super cool.

Writing projects: I’ve got several projects in the pipeline, both stuff on my own and with writing partners. It’s fun to write!

UCB classes: When I did the work study program, I got a lot of class credits. So I’m using them: I’m in an academy improv class with Alex Dickson that I love and in sketch 101. It’s fun to be a student again. A good reminder to keep learning/stay teachable.

What else: neighborhood dogs, cheese, Netflix, sourdough starters, walking to work and seeing the Chrysler building, warm coats, hot coffee, instagram dogs, avocados, humidifiers…

When I think of these nice things, is my seasonal depression solved? NOPE! The sad is still there (it’s seasonal depression, after all). In the improv class I’m taking now, “Improv is Feeling” we had to watch the Brene Brown Ted Talk about vulnerability. If you haven’t watched, watch it here, it’s very cool. I know it’s from 2013, I’m know, but I hadn’t watched it!

She talks about our desire to numb the bad feelings, and how it mutes our ability to feel the full spectrum of human things. Including joy and love. So, I’m trying to notice all of it, the nice and the not-nice things in my life and see how that feels. I guess the point isn’t to feel less sad. It’s to allow a little more space for all the feelings. And to notice. And notice that I do feel a bit less sad…

Then again, I’ve no idea. Just spit-balling here. Today is cold but sunny. A crisp, beautiful New York morning.

I’m worried this blog post is “off-brand”/too rambling. But everyone on this email list (I think?) is interested in my life and my life isn’t just my glamorous adventures as a NYC comedienne/actress. It’s mostly the latter. But, alas, not all glamour.

Don’t worry, next month I’ll have funny video to share. Hugses to all xoxo

Deirdre Manning1 Comment